Almost everyone freezes at a sympathy card. The good news: you don't need perfect words - you need honest, gentle ones. Here's what helps, and what to avoid.
Keep it simple and sincere
"I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you, and I'm here." Short and true beats long and polished.
Say the person's name, if you can
Naming the person who died - or a small memory of them - means more than any general phrase. "Your mum had the warmest laugh" will be treasured.
Offer something specific
"Can I bring dinner Thursday?" is kinder than "let me know if you need anything," which quietly puts the work on them.
Avoid the clichés
Skip "they're in a better place," "everything happens for a reason," and "be strong." They can feel dismissive of real grief. It's fine to simply say you don't have the right words.
Example
"I just heard about your dad, and I'm so sorry. I'll always remember how proud he was of you. I'm only a phone call away, day or night."
Stuck on yours? The condolences helper drafts something gentle from a few answers.